This is the first of the Muft ka Gyaan series from me.
We make friends quite unassumingly and they last for a life time. We have a bonding with our siblings and they last for a lifetime. The best part is we never have to try too hard for these relationships to work. But when it comes to spouses many of us flounder. We try so many things to impress the partner and are upset with the slightest of disappointments. Ever wondered why?
Thats because with marriage comes new responsibilities, new relations and above all, expectations.
In the Indian scenario, marriages are of two types – Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage (though the difference is blurring now-a-days). I am not getting into the difference now but the reason I pointed this out is because Love or Arranged , the expectations from a wife /husband remains the same for husband/wife.
One fine weekend afternoon, when I had nothing else to do(thanks to a tiff between the mister and myself), all of whatever I had written above was going through my mind. The tiff was sorted out in the evening and all was hunky – dory again. But at night , as sleep was evading me , my mind went back to the afternoon musings.
As I look back on my nearly 3 years of marriage, I find that the FEAST principle has helped me immensely in dealing with this new relationship.Experience in marriage can never be classified as beginner, Intermediate or advanced, since it is a continuous learning process.
So , here is my 2-cents worth FEAST Principle.
a. Be FRIENDS with your partners. When you are friends with your partner the communication becomes easier and in case of arranged marriages the protocol slowly disappears
b. Always EXPRESS your feelings. This doesnt have to be declaring your affections in public.Tell your partner how much he /she means to you and more importantly make your partner feel wanted and how important he/she is in your life.
c. ACCEPT your partner as they are. Nobody is perfect and no two persons are the same. Accept your partner with all the imperfections he/she might have.
d. Surprise your partner. No. I dont mean the nasty kinds of surprises but the pleasant ones. Everyone loves pleasant surprises and dont wait for an occasion to surprise your partner. Surprises dont have to be gifts or dining out but it can be doing something minute which will give your partner happiness.
e. TRUST. TIME. TALK. Trust your partner. Talk to each other and have some alone time always. Spending some time alone with each other will cement the relationship.
Wishing you a long lasting relationship!!!!!!!!